My husband and I have been together for almost 26 years and married for 22 of those years. When I stop and think about, we have actually been together more than half my life. Wow!
As with many marriages and relationships, we have had our fair share of ups and downs, but these experiences have brought us closer over the years. I know that my husband loves me with all of his heart. He is devoted and would do anything for our family.
Although my husband and I have worked hard to make our marriage withstand the storms and trials, I have always struggled with one area in our marriage: my husband’s relationship with God.
My husband whole-heartedly believes in God. He also believes that Jesus Christ is God’s son and died on the cross for our sins. My husband also tells me that he prays to God all the time. However, his relationship with God looks very different than mine.
I grew up in church and was saved at a very young age. Although my relationship with God has not always been as it should be during my life, I knew that I needed to have a deep and personal relationship with Jesus.
My husband, on the other hand, did not grow up in church. I am not sure if he really understands what a personal relationship with Jesus really looks like.
When we first got married, I had it in my mind that I could make my husband have a more personal relationship with Jesus. I thought that I had it all planned out and was sure that it wouldn’t be long before my husband would be the man of God that I thought he should be.
But as time went on, I was driving my husband farther and farther away from God. My constant nagging of how he should go to church with me every Sunday and how he should be conducting himself around others was not going over very well.
We were constantly fighting. And before I knew it, we were resenting each other and drifting farther and farther apart. That’s when I finally figured out that I needed to SAVE my marriage, not my husband.
I also finally realized that I cannot make my husband have a personal relationship with Jesus. His relationship with Jesus is between him and Jesus, not him, Jesus, and me. I needed to leave this part of my marriage in the very capable hands of God.
Although only God can handle this situation, there are some things that I feel He is calling me to do.
Be an Example
“In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16.
As stated in this verse, I want my husband to see Jesus shine through me. Most importantly, my actions need to be Christ-like in every way.
Believe me, this isn’t always easy. I am far from perfect, and still a work in progress. However, my demeanor, behavior, reactions, and words need to be centered on Jesus.
“Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.“ 1 Peter 3:1-2
It’s my hope that my husband will see what a relationship with Jesus looks like through my actions and see the love of Jesus through me. A love and relationship that he will desire also.
This is something that I truly struggled with in the beginning of my marriage, and there are even times now when I need to be reminded that I am not my husband’s judge. Only God is.
Again, I am not perfect, and I do not need someone constantly pointing out my flaws and imperfections, and neither does my husband.
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Matthew 7:1-2
Respect and Love Him
God has commanded me to respect and love my husband despite his faults. I need to support him and stand by him. He needs to know that I believe in him and trust his decisions.
“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:33
“Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” Titus 2:4-5
One of the most important things that I can do is pray for my husband. I need to be praying daily for his salvation and that God will change his heart.
In addition, I need to pray for myself. I need to pray that God will use me as a witness to my husband. I want my words and actions to work with God’s plan not against it.
Sometimes, it’s difficult for us to trust God’s plan and timing. We want to control or change situations in our lives that really only God can control or change.
God is fully capable of handling this. We just need to trust in him and have faith.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Psalms 3:5-6
If you and your husband are not on the same spiritual level, I hope these points will help you be the wife that God has called you to be. Leave everything else in God’s hands.
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